DISCLAIMER: No porn appears here, because that would make me a sinner.

Miranda Sings - Don't be Porn - Salt Lake City, Utah - Feb 24, 2014

Miranda Sings - Don't be Porn - Salt Lake City, Utah - Feb 24, 2014

Porn is very inappropriate.

Being Porn

  • Showing too much skin
  • Letting us see your chesticle crack
  • Being naked
  • Having ses when you're not married
  • Not wearing enough clothes
  • Porn words
  • Porn lyrics
  • Doing things with your private parts
  • Anything that has to do with private parts
  • Fifty Shades of Grey
  • Videos of marrried couples


How to prevent porn

  • Dress appropriately
  • When someone is being porn, use the Anti-porn unicorn. Hit the porn person right in the porn areas
  • Change the porn lyrics
  • Don't say porn words
  • ONLY HAVE SES IF YOUR MARRIED. Don't record it, and make sure that no one is nearby to record it.

Changing porn lyrics

Below are some examples of how you can change porn lyrics to be appropriate.

Original: "My neck, my back, lick my p**sy and my crack"[1]

Non-Porn: "My neck, my back, wipe my tookie and my crack"[2]

Original: "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off"[3]

Non-Porn: "It's getting hot in here, let's drink some lemonade, I am getting so hot, I'm gonna drink some water"

Original: "I like big butts and I cannot lie, your other brother can't deny, that when a girl walks in itzy-bitzy waist and a round thing in your face"[4]

Non-Porn: "I like Big Bird and I cannot lie, your little brother can't deny, when Sesame Street is on TV, I watch it, it's good..."

Original: "I'll make love to you, like you want me to, and I'll hold you tight, baby, all through the night, I'll make love to you..."[5]

Non-Porn: "I'll make corn with you, like you want me to, and we'll boil it right, steam it all through the night, I'll make corn with you..."

Original: "'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it, sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me"[6]

Non-Porn: "'Cause I may be good, but I'm perfectly good at it, breath in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but Taco Bell excites me"

Appropriate Clothing

Firstly, you need a top to wear, so we don't see your chesticles. So choose a nice shirt, maybe a button up shirt or a T-S

Hatres Back Off pants.

hirt. No V-Necks, or anything that will let us see your arm or chesticles. However, when you wear a button up shirt, button it up to the top. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A CHESTICLE CRACK. Next you need some pants. Leggings are not pants so do not wear them as pants. On Miranda's wessite, you can buy some Hatres Back Off pants which are very nice and not porn. And remember, with every clothing you own, make sure that your clothes are not too tight so we don't see any creases or crevices. You know your pants are too tight if you have a cameltoe. A cameltoe is porn, because it's when your pants go into your tookie, and we can see your tookie.

Example of a Miranda shirt.


You might see married couples on line having ses. Ses is only made to have babies. It is sinful to do when you are not married. So, ses never happens between people who are not married. However, sometimes there are videos of married couples having ses. It can be a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a lebanese couple. This is not okay. This means that the married couple was having ses and trying to have a baby, and some sinner filmed it and leaked it. Most times, the married couple doesn't know that they're being filmed. DON'T EVER WATCH A HONEYMOON LEAK. You need to tell the married couple that their honeymoon got leaked, so they can take care of it, if you ever find one. I only saw leaks when Master Hydraffe and MikeyRocks33 gave me porn of a married couple of two men. Pray for them.

Replacing Porn

So, if you watch porn a lot, you're definitely a sinner in need of my prayers. But, I found a really nice thing for all of you. It's called food porn. Food porn isn't even porn at all, so you're not sinning. It's just pictures of beautiful food and it's safe for everyone to enjoy. It's all PG, and it's much better than real porn anyway. So, yes, food porn is the best replacement for porn.

Examples of Porn

Click the photos to see an example of PORN. But it's not appropriate so don't click it if you're under 21.